My story has to do with an abusive ex-husband, along with the dismissal by several Bishops when told about the abuse or the polygamy desires of my husband.
My Ex has a domestic violence charge against him for pulling a loaded gun on me in front of our 5 children and saying, "I'm going to kill you and say it was self defense." It was also in front of several of my neighbors, so 6 sworn witnesses on the police report. He is out of jail on bond and is to have no contact with me except through a safe communication site about the children.
I was physically, mentally, and sexually abused for 5 years. Our 3 oldest children got baptized into my church with his permission 2 weeks ago. He attends the same church but an hour away. Today they were getting confirmed during Sacrament and I looked back and saw he was sitting in the back of the chapel. He is allowed to attend important events for the children (but zero contact with me) but I had no forewarning he was coming. I had to breath to not have a panic attack as I didn't have time to make a plan like I usually do when he will be at an event. I was ok UNTIL he got up to participate in the blessing!! After being cheated on with at least 3 people that I know about, raped and abused for 5 years due to an addiction to prescription drugs I knew he was not worthy to participate in the blessing.
I was ok with him watching from the back, but to get up and try to participate sent me into a spiral. Someone who knew about the abuse, stopped him and told him to take a seat in the front of the chapel to watch. Then the First Counselor (our Bishop was out of town) said, "He's the father he's allowed to come up." Without asking me at all if it was ok or if I was ok. I stood up at that point (I was in the front row) and said, "if he is participating this will not go on today."
The First Counselor then went to the pulpit and said while looking at me, "I'm so sorry that we are not able to preform the confirmations for these children and this was totally unacceptable." I was on edge, and felt like a deer caught in headlights, I responded, "I did nothing wrong, he was not worthy to be here, he shouldn't even be here" I was then told to leave and as I did I said, "That's fine I don't want to belong to a church that thinks it's ok for rapists and child molesters to participate in ordinances."
Please don't give me the forgiveness speech, because the same leaders just excommunicated and kicked out a woman in a few months ago that he was living with while we were still married (i.e. adultery). I was just so upset and in the car I started crying and so did my children. I hate that he still affects me so emotionally and I hate that my children saw that display of dismissal from a Leader of the Church for a victim of serious abuse.