At BYU, I decided to take a Mission Prep course from the most popular Mission Prep teacher at BYU. He was extremely popular, and I believe he had tenure....not sure.
Anyway, While taking the course, I was dating a guy who I then got engaged to.
I don't enjoy drawing attention to myself...it makes me feel really awkward and overly self-aware, and at this point in time I didn't have the highest self esteem.
Well, when someone got engaged, pregnant, their mission call, they were encouraged to stand up at the beginning of class and express their bit of exciting news.
So, out of excitement (I guess), I decided to do it, too. I stood up at the same time another girl did, so I allowed her to go before me.
Girl: "Hi! Yes I got engaged!"
Professor: Oh congratulations! When did it happen?
Girl: "Friday night!" (Same as me)
Professor: When's the wedding?
Girl: "Six weeks!!"
::Big gasps and sounds from the class::
Professor: Well, sounds like you have your hands full til then! Wonderful!
She sits down and the professor looks at me:
Professor: Stand up! Tell us your news!
Me: "Oh, well I got engaged." ::Sits back down::
Professor: Stand up! What else? Who's the guy? (This professor doesn't know me. I felt really weird and DUMB to answer that question considering no one in the room knew me, so why would he care who the guy was?)
Me: "He's alright."
::snickering or other weird sounds from the class:: (I guess I was supposed to say I'm so madly in love with him...)
Professor: Alrighty. When's the wedding?
Me: "We are thinking the first week of July!" - This whole scenario took place the last week of November, meaning 7-8 months until the wedding
-And the professor continued to speak, for a literal FIVE MINUTES about how what my fiance and I were doing was wrong. How us waiting "so long" to get married was a mistake and that we would mess up and have sex before getting married and most likely not have a temple marriage. Perhaps not in those exact terms, but the words "do not do this" and "you will mess up" were used. Tthe message was clear: Do not wait so long to get married because as young little Mormons, we can't control our hormonal impulses and will have sex, even if we never had before in our 20 some years of life.
I was also STANDING throughout the entire 5 minutes...so I was basically the poster on the wall for his lecture.
I eventually slid down into my seat and felt the awkwardness of the two kids sitting beside me. The girl to my left usually talked to me during class, and she didn't say a word the entire time.
I wanted to burst into tears and run out of the class, but that would make it more dramatic, and I still needed to take notes for finals in 2 or so weeks. I skipped the rest of the day of school and cried off the embarrassment. I actually don't even know how I was able to go back to that class after that.
I'm not an emotional person, nor do I allow my emotions to be seen in public. I'm also not one to blow something out of proportion. My husband wanted to email him, but I said I would do it. I never did.
BTW, I'm still active. I realize this man was very wrong, but I thought he knew so much due to his reputation at the school.
Well he made a bad decision 1-2 years later on behalf of the church when he didn't have the permission, so I believe he was forced into retirement.