Forced to Repent for Sexual Assault

​When I was in a SIngles' ward, I dated a boy who repeatedly assaulted me. As most young victims, I did not fully understand what was happening to me because of constantly being fed the line "Boys will be boys."
About 4 months after the boy I was dating left on his mission, I was in my Bishop's office to get my recommend for my temple wedding. At this point, I disclosed the abuse to my Bishop. I communicated that I had repeatedly told this boy to stop and used the word "no", but he continued to assault me. I also told him I tried to end the relationship multiple times. He didn't really say much other than he would have to communicate that to the Stake President who would be completing the interview. (I was already endowed). When I met with the Stake President, he took away my recommend for about a week. There was no recognition of the abuse, even though they knew my abuser was in the process of being sent home from his mission!

About 2 years later, I was meeting with a bishopric member to obtain access to a counselor through LDS service. When I mentioned that I had been abused in a previous relationship, but had repented and it was "taken care of" - his response was "What did you need to repent for? You were abused." THIS is what I should have heard the first time I reported the behavior.

I think that all bishops, but especially leaders in Singles' Ward and Branches should be on the lookout for signs of abuse and receive training on how to respond to it. Looking back, if a female leader had been in the room, I think she would have sympathized with my situation and maybe have helped me communicate more clearly that I was not a willing participant. With the #metoo movement, church leaders can recognize that systematic abuse can be found within the church.