My father was in church leadership as were all the males in my family dating back to Joseph Smith himself and are direct descendants of him. My maternal grandfather was a stake president, the first in the stake where I now live. He had a large family and every one of his children as well as his wife, were abused in horrible ways. Beaten, raped, tortured to the extent they had to have corrective surgeries as adults, etc. Local authorities both in the church and in law enforcement were well aware but to this day they call it a “family matter”. He is dead but his children will carry physical and emotional scars the rest of their lives, yet they remain faithful LDS members. My paternal grandfather was a serial adulterer, yet always a temple recommend holder. He is dead now too. I do not know the origins of my own biological father’s pedophilia but I can guess based on his father’s legacy and behaviors while living. Again, all the male leaders were well aware of my paternal grandfather’s proclivities and abuses.
Now, my father. He was born and raised in a tight knit 98% LDS small Arizona town community. He and his brothers all abused women and little girls. My father was given and alternative sentence at 18 to go to prison for his pedophelia or join the US Army. He Joined the Army. His behaviors attracted men of like proclivities and upon discharge he continued his association with these men, and his behaviors. My mother was my father’s oldest brother’s wife. Through sexual abuse and resultant pregnancy my mother was “counseled” by her bishop to marry her rapist, She did and had three children by him before he abandoned her and cheated on her. Her first husband’s brother (my bio-father) then raped impregnated my mother while she was still married to my biological uncle. My mother and uncle subsequently divorced. My parents married while my mother was pregnant with his child. The newly formed family bought a home and moved into a stable ward in Arizona in a much larger city. My mother continued to have children with my biological father and they married in the temple.
Never at any time did my father stop molesting children or cheating on my mother with both women, children, and men. He molested almost every child he came into contact with. Recently I was told by a male cousin of mine that my father molested him when he was about six years old. Also, I had a friend who was a boy in my neighborhood who used to come over regularly when we were about 7-10 years old. Recently I contacted him and then discovered he killed himself after going through horrible trials due to my father’s abuse of him when we were children. From the time I can remember at about three years old, I saw my father molest my siblings, friends, and neighbors.
Repeatedly my mother went to bishops and stake presidents for help. These pleas should be in my parent’s church records. Repeatedly she was sent home to be a better wife and mother. She was told we children were to be clean, quiet, and respectful to our father due to his “priesthood authority” in our home. My father from time to time would be called into a bishop or stake president’s office and asked about these allegations and he had plenty of ready-made excuses, mostly that my mother was lying. On one occasion the Bishop in a Mesa, Arizona ward was audience to my mother’s cries for help. She was made out to be the typical hysterical female and liar again. Even though she was the Relief Society president! So, one by one each of us children in the family were brought into the bishop’s office while the other’s waited in the foyer. Our mother was in there with Bishop. We were made to stand in the middle of the room and tell the “forbidden” secrets of our father’s sexual abuse, then summarily dismissed as another sibling was called in for the same testimony. Again… nothing was ever done either about my father’s membership status, with law enforcement, or to protect us children from ongoing abuse. We even had LDS Social Services place foster children in our home with my parent’s protests!
Bishop became our family’s next bishop. He was also told of the exploitations happening. One specific incident I recall well was my father being caught once again by my mother, molesting us kids. A fight between parents ensued. My father left the home and stayed with those army buddies of his who were also molesters of the lowest form. It was a Daddy-Daughter party time for me in Primary. Bishop was counseling my mother and since my father was out of the home for a few days, he was my escort for that important “date”. It was very humiliating for me. But, even at that young age I knew very, very, well that out big family secret of our father’s pedophilia, homosexuality, and adultery were to be kept “sacred” between church leaders and my mother.
After I married in the Mesa AZ. temple and was pregnant with my first child my father would bring his pervert friends to my home and coach them to fondle me and try to seduce me sexually. While growing up in my father’s house there was never any privacy. He was always a voyeur and the house’s wall is/was full of peep holes. Now, after my marriage, he was back and encouraging his friends to continue his abuse. My husband did nothing to stop it, nor my siblings or their spouses.
I later moved out of state. My father would visit. After one visit in my home specifically he insisted my then, four year old daughter, sleep with him. I also caught him peeking in my two young son’s bedroom window as they dressed for bed. I did not allow him to return for any more visits. A few months later over the phone from Mesa, Arizona, he bragged that he had just renewed his temple recommend. My brother in law (sister’s husband) was his bishop. As one may guess… this bragging infuriated me. I did some research and contacted my father’s stake president.
I told this President about my father and his history. He returned my call two successive nights for a total of three calls. He explained to me my father’s usual excuses and I asked him to look into the records the church keeps. On the third and final call he told me it is all “confidential” but my father would not hold a recommend as long as this man is Stake President. He said he had caught my father in a lie but was not specific. One short year later I discovered my father had been re-baptized and made a high priest by my/ his brother/son in law, the Bishop. To top it off, my brother in law… my father’s bishop… gave my father a calling to teach Primary children!
During the time my family and I lived in Provo, a recommended young woman babysat for my husband and I while we went to our weekly temple visit. She molested our two young sons while we were gone. We immediately went to our bishop. He shook his head in sadness and told us that her family had so many problems that he could not even tell her parents. Later, that girl’s father went to prison for fathering to children with her sister (his own daughter).
Fast forward a few years: We moved even further away from AZ. and to another state. I had to go through a divorce. My husband was jealous of me pursuing my education after our children were all in school and he refused to work. He was physically abusive as well as habitually abandoned the family. We finally had to divorce. My bishop told me to return to the abuse and I refused. I finally left the church over, mostly, these wrong “inspired” leader’s counsel. The lack of support for the many women, like myself, who were not believed is sickening.
During my divorce trial for custody of my children my now X-husband, procured a typed and signed declaration from my father and one sister (whose husband is the bishop to my father) saying I am a liar, unfit parent, etc. It was 100% in retaliation for my testimony concerning my father’s pedophilia. At that point I had not seen or spoken to my father nor siblings in at least 15 years due to my father’s pedophilia and their denial. My sister typed this dirty letter and she and my father were the only signers yet put my other siblings, their spouses, and their demographic information typed on the letter for the court. I have not spoken to any of these family members since. In fact, with the exception of one sister who is now recently deceased, I have not spoken to any of them in about 25 years or so. All due to the enabling of the pedophilia and cover ups.
During my divorce a child of fellow ward members came forward. He is an adult now. He told law enforcement authorities about my husband wrestling him to the ground when he was 8-10 years old (during two years) and pulling his genitals and kicking him while calling him sexist slurs. He told law enforcement of my X isolating him away from others and sexually abusing him. He also went with his mother and told the same consistent story to our bishop. Due to the divorce my X’s lawyer was able to snuff out those very credible accusations. At one point my X stalked this young boy during his scout meeting at the church and that this man's mother and that this man had to take my X to court and get a protection order against my X. Nothing happened as far as my X’s church membership was concerned. Not even after he beat me with his belt leaving welts and the bishop was provided by my Dr. with photos of my welts. Nothing! On another occasion my daughter was molested my a family friend who was an elder. My daughter told the Bishop and the bishop “called” a local Mormon lawyer (stake high council member) to represent the molester pro-bono. Again, after law enforcement was involved, the Mormon lawyer got that man’s charged dismissed.
After my divorce was finalized my children had visitation with their father. When his parenting time was over I went to his residence to pick up my minor children (the two oldest had aged out of the system) and my X had abducted and secreted the children. Mormon families my X was home teacher to, had purchased our community property from my X illegally. The church leaders with the monies illegally obtained from the sales, helped secret them for two years at a rural location in Utah. I had to hire a private detective agency, have my X found, legally served, and taken to court…then found in contempt on SIX counts, He was then court ordered to return my children to me! He was ordered to pay fines of which are still outstanding. And after years, has yet to pay me any court-ordered child support. And of course, he is still a member in good standing. He is remarried to another Mormon woman. She is another foolish victim of Mormonism’s “sacred-secrets”.
Upon closing, and in retrospect… I really wonder something… When my father was a mere bishop it was discovered his counselor in the bishopric was abusing his daughters and the children in his wife’s daycare. My father counselled him to turn himself in to law enforcement. The man did, a part of the “repentance process”. Priesthood men showed up in force to court on behalf of that man. They gave him glowing references. The judge knew the demands of justice and he is in prison to this day. Yet his crimes were much less than my grandfathers’, my father’s, and even my X’s. Since the LDS is “true” and these men have been called, set apart, and are inspired to be the Lord’s representatives, what is the church’s next round of excuses? Are their corporate assets really this valuable? These pedophilia cover ups and harboring of perpetrators are enhanced and enabled by one on one “worthiness interviews” of children and vulnerable women. When, if ever, will there be accountability? Stop them!