I was young and newly married, caring for two babies with special health care needs. A preemie who was in early intervention receiving physical and speech therapy, and a newborn daughter who was born with a heart defect. Our daughter was diagnosed with terminal complications at about 6 months. Our bishop met with us often to check on our family in crisis. I thought nothing when I was summoned to the bishops office.
What I didn’t know is my husband had visited with the bishop alone beforehand, and had divulged what he perceived as a marital problem. When I was meeting with the bishop he mentioned that it was wrong for a healthy woman to deny her husband sex.
I literally started choking. I reminded him that my 2 year anniversary was approaching and in that time I had given birth via C-section, twice. Both babies born critically ill, one terminal. I told him I was in this position because I was not good at saying no. I was in fact pregnant when we married outside of the temple. Then I asked him to identify even one day during my marriage that he could declare me physically healthy.
This all happened 23 Years ago and I still feel scarred. Why would an ecclesiastical leader try to offer sexual advice when he was trained to be a farmer and janitor?